Frightening would be an understatement

So I was chatting with my dear Jilbur this fine evening, and she asked me for my zip code. I gave it, along with a snarky comment about how she must be sending me a sympathy card (it's been that kind of a day). Nope, no card. What she offered, instead, was a link to Match.com profiles for available men in my area.

Now that, dear readers, would've been scary enough. Some of those pictures reminded me that I am indeed a stranger in a strange land. Heh. But the ultimate horror was not to present itself until later, as I continued to page through with a mixture of fear and fascination.

I wondered; how can you really know someone from the information they choose to present to you on a dating website? These men could be animals. They could be killers, rapists, WWF fans, taxidermists! How would you know? How would it be possible for someone like me--a skeptic, at best; a pessimist, at worst--to bridge the gap of disbelief and allow that not only are there good, available men out there, but they are advertising themselves this way? Perhaps I am being a snob, I told myself. Perhaps I should at least allow for the possibility.

Whatever infinitesimal chance at open-mindedness I'd had was erased by a single profile. The gentleman in question sounded fabulous. Great education, varied interests, funny, and a father to boot (waxing smitten on his kids, no less). He claimed to love a multitude of romantic activities that I haven't had the pleasure of since long before my marriage. He sounded to good to be true, really. Because he is.

Yes, the ex has a profile on Match. Given his penchant for science fiction, I guess the majesty and extent of his truth-bending shouldn't surprise me. The clincher? In the same sentence where he claims to be a very devoted father, he gets the kids' ages wrong.

P.S. Adding a clarification: I neglected to share that a couple of weeks ago the ex claimed that he and the MOB have decided to "just be friends for now," which I of course took to mean she dumped him. But I was sitting on this info because I wasn't sure it was true. According to Match he's been active in the last day, so I guess she's history.