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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

"My blog exploded and all I got was this lousy site crash"

If I had spent more than a few minutes reviewing my general luck and Blogger's track record thus far, I could've predicted that as soon as I signed up for Blog Explosion, all of BlogSpot would take a dive.

I couldn't get into my blog all morning, and then this afternoon when pages started loading again, I couldn't get into the dashboard to post.

Welcome, Blog Explosion visitors! This is my blog; chock full of "Page Not Found" juicy goodness. I hope you've enjoyed your visit and... hey! Where are you going??

When my new glasses come in? And I'm irresistable to men? The first thing I'm doing is finding me a nice rich guy who wants to buy me my own domain and Movable Type and perhaps even a pony. Just because. Then he will also sweep me off my feet with his listening skills, compassion, sense of humor, and sexual prowess. Hey, if you're gonna dream, dream BIG, I say.

Last night I had two extremely vivid dreams. In the first one, I was surfing Blog Explosion (GEEK! GEEK! I had a DREAM about BLOGGING because I need a LIFE!) and found my ex's blog. I seriously doubt my ex blogs. He's the sort of person who would view such an endeavor as a complete waste of time. But in my dream, he had a blog, and it was wildly entertaining because it was composed of approximately 120% bullshit and fabrication about what a wonderful guy he is. Now this would be weird enough. But in my dream, he also had my site listed on his blogroll. This is how I figured out it was a dream, and woke up. If he'd found my site, he would've been able to keep it to himself for a maximum of five seconds. It was too improbable; I woke up and laughed out loud.

In the second dream, my one and only post-marriage ex-boyfriend (not to be confused with my ex-husband) resurfaced to tell me how losing me was the biggest mistake of his life, and how sorry he was that he'd treated me so badly. I was very confused, in this dream, as his confessions were gratifying but also served to remind me that I'm not quite over this schmuck. There wasn't any laughing when I woke up from that one. There is something profound but deeply disturbing to be learned from the fact that I am having a harder time resolving the loss of a less-than-a-year boyfriend than the loss of a nearly-ten-year marriage. I don't care to know what that knowledge is. I mean it. If you know, don't tell me. I suspect it involves the word "loser."

Then, of course, all of these exciting things happened to me today, but every time I sat down to blog, Blogger was still broken. All of these thrilling events have since flitted out of my brain to make room for more important things. Like that I have to provide chips for Friday's Halloween party at school, or that Chickadee's hair is crunchy and if I don't get her into the shower tonight, CPS will probably be here tomorrow. Sorry. No tales of my day for you! Bad Blogger!

Plus, you have no idea what I have to put up with, here. Monkey is laying on the floor at my feet, chanting "I'm a Yankees fan! I'm a Yankees fan!" (When I asked him what a Yankees fan is, he said he didn't know. Phew.)